Operation Let’s Do This

So, I always love how the most amazingly bizarre code names were used in, say, the Second World War. Like the invasion of Africa: Operation GYMNAST.


Of course.

And as I faced the dilemma of what to do with too much Vega vegan protein powder (ick!), I knew I needed a plan… and so Operation DON DRAPER was born. Why DON DRAPER? Well, yesterday, HEAB decided to be more creative with her adjectives. I’m helping!
Step 1: Inspiration and Plan Genesis

This is p. 80 of the September 2010 issue of Oxygen magazine. It’s a recipe for “fat burning cookies”. I think I prefer “fat-containing cookies”, in which the objective is “DELICIOUS!” instead of “BLAST FAT!”… BUT: one thing caught my eye—it wanted 2 cups of whey protein powder. I NEVER would have considered such a thing in the past with my beloved Greens Plus, but for my despised Vega (ick!)? No problem!
Step 2: Assemble the Operatives

Here’s a little “their recipe vs my modifications”:

1.5 c whole wheat flour equal parts buckwheat, spelt and tapioca flours
2 c whey protein powder chocolate-flavoured Vega vegan protein powder (ick!)
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
1/5 c low-fat cottage cheese
1/2 c honey (1/4 c + 1/2 tsp stevia)
1/4 c canola oil olive oil (just ’cause I didn’t have canola)
1 egg (oops—ate the last egg for lunch) 2 Tbsp + 2 tsp egg whites
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 c rolled oats
1/2 c semisweet chocolate chips chopped 90% dark Lindt chocolate bar
1/2 c walnuts, chopped
My additions:
2 tsp psyllium husks
2 Tbsp organic cocoa powder

Their theory was, these are “fat burning” because of:

cinnamon, to keep your blood-sugar in check (and maybe to do a little “burning” of its own—check out Mama Pea eating a spoonful of cinnamon in under a minute… ON VIDEO! As I tolerate, but do not love, cinnamon, it might be the scariest thing I’ve seen all week!);

cottage cheese’s slow-digesting protein;

protein powder’s faster-digesting protein;

oats, because of their anti-inflammatory polyphenols and beta-glucan, which also makes you feel full;

the walnuts will make you feel full, too… as will, I’m sure, my heart-friendly dark, dark chocolate.
Step 3: ENGAGE!

I blitzed the wet with my hand blender and whisked the dry (minus the nuts, chocolate and oats) with my… hand whisker…, and brought the the two together in sweet, sweet harmony. Well, I reduced the honey and didn’t use semi-sweet chocolate, so maybe it was just “sweet” harmony.

I quickly wondered whether or not I had been meant to firmly pack the protein powder (ick!), as the dough became dry quite quickly. I worked at it (see the veins on my hand, denoting me, working hard? I’ve been told I have “man hands” in the past—and they only get veinier and manier the fitter I get. Thanks for stigmatising this, Seinfeld.) 😉

And then: uh oh.

The chocolate and walnuts were on board, and I was about to drop them onto the silpat-lined pan for a 10-minute bake at 350°F when I saw that the oats had escaped, and were in hiding behind the dirty dishes and GF flours. Damn. MORE dry ingredients?? Really? FINE.
Step 4: Hot War

Step 5: Send for Reinforcements

Oh, right. Chocolate chips have stabilisers so they maintain their shape in the oven. A Lindt chocolate bar does not. Ergo, all exposed chocolate must go on the top, dummy.
Step 6: De-brief

I wish I hadn’t added the stevia. It lingers as the aftertaste. Shoulda just used the whole 1/2 cup of honey. And a better tasting protein powder, since that, too, lingered (ick!). And BOY were these crying out for dried cherries… cherries + dark chocolate = love!

So how were they? Well, I didn’t want to kill the batch, and I liked how the dark chocolates and low sugar were sort of deeply rich without inducing the sugar-crazed desire to eat all of them at once. I guess I’d have to say that these were pretty Don Draper*!
*Don Draper: adj. (-ier, -iest). Informal. (Of food): dark and mysterious, with some good taste, though said mysteriousness is also, in some undefinable way, unsatisfying. (Of men): see: HBO’s Mad Men.