… … … how to start, after almost 3 months?
How are you?
I’m fine, thanks. And a few people have asked me if I’m “ever coming back”… so to them I say, “thanks for asking!” and, “I guess so!”
For awhile, it didn’t seem like it. I never did my final post from Brazil.
I never posted anything when I came home.
And the reason for both of these things is that it just felt wrong—blogging, for one thing, but just *being*, for another.
I picked up a hitchhiker in Peru. Blastocystis hominis, to be exact. That was part of it—and the other part of it was burn-out. Burn-out is the BIGGEST BITCH I know.
It’s hard to imagine that 3 months hanging out in South America wouldn’t take the edge off—how many people said almost exactly that to me, I can’t even guess—but it didn’t. Instead, it’s like it set up great, big floodlamps to HIGHLIGHT the edge, and yet the edge was still there when I came home. Pointier, sharper, crueler than ever.
I hit Vancouver EXHAUSTED.
And man, was my stomach off. I couldn’t understand why (for about 3 weeks, until I finally had blood work done), and I couldn’t really face the idea of “healthy living”—not my own (hence why I stopped blogging, so as not to be a hypocrite), but nor could I handle others’. Honestly, I stopped reading YOUR BLOGS because I felt SO BAD that I couldn’t even watch other people do well.
It sounds petty to say it out loud. To see it in print. But there you have it. Honesty, in all its ugliness.
A lot has changed since September, when I came back to Canada… a real rollercoaster that I’m still riding, in some ways. But I’m cycling high these days, and it seemed like the right time to come back.
… but with a new purpose, I think.
So I’m jumping in…
I missed you guys! (Even though, if you’re reading this, you’re likely someone I talk to or know in the FB world…). 😀
If you want to share an ugly truth about yourself with me below (it need not be current nor permanent), please feel free. No judgment here!